Back at the Shrock’s…

After staying in Chewelah for a day, last night Heather brought me out to the church with her, Dave and Lilly for prayer meeting.  I then went home with the Shrock’s again.  I brought with me more clean cloths, my laptop, flashlights and a few other misc. things.

Today after breakfast, Eli asked me to start the project of working with Dean Farrell’s sermon.  After working through several codex problems on my laptop, and still not being able to get the audio to come out right, I decided to switch to a machine that is not Vista 64-bit.  I will install Premiere onto Moses’s machine later today.

While one of the couple of times that my computer was diligently working on converting this video, I went out into the field where Moses was bailing hay with a horse drawn bailer.  I stayed out there for more than an hour helping him by picking up the hay that had been missed and putting it into the rows that he had still to bail.  My arms didn’t like the experience and are all broke out in a red rash, but I enjoyed the experience, and have a humbled opinion of the Amish way of life.

On a different note, I have made quite a few changes to my life lately.  I have quit smoking cigarettes and I have become clean.  I have also pretty much cut out all animal products from my diet becoming vegetarian or even vegan.  I could say that I have not smoked a cigarette for a week and a half.  I could also say that I have been clean for over three weeks now.  But I have decided that instead of this type of thinking I am just going to say this: I am a non-smoker and that I don’t use.  Why think of and bring to memory my past weaknesses?  This is not just about becoming clean, about becoming free from these worldly addictions.  This is about the realization of sin and about the forgiveness of those sins.  But most importantly this is about my coming back to Christ.

The day has come to an end.  I am beet!  I got out in the field with Moses again this evening, this time with Chris.  Moses had finished bailing all the hay earlier.  We loaded up 28 bails of hay and delivered them.  We then came back and loaded up the rest of the bails in the two fields in order to let the horses back into the fields.  There were another 96 bails.

Well, it is late.  I am going to finish watching the movie “Super-Size Me” and then get to bed.  G’ night.

Faith and Current Requirements…

Faith and Current Requirements…
09/04/2008

Heather is filled with the spirit of Jesus.  I have been witness to this over and over recently.  I am working on my faith, yet her faith is abundant and overflowing.   I am here at the Shrock’s by the will of the Lord, out of blind faith. 

I came to Heather several weeks ago knowing that I could not become clean on my own.  She prayed for me, asking the Lord what she could do for me, what I should do.  Over and over the Lord answered her prayer saying that I will go to the Shrock’s.  Christopher was still with me for one more week before he was to go back to his mother’s in Oregon.  So in order to remove myself from all temptation, Heather allowed me to stay with her and Lilly for this week.  Christopher stayed also for several days.  During this time I watched Lilly while Heather was on call.  I am very grateful that she gave me this opportunity.

Nearly two weeks ago I told Heather my three current goals.
These goals were:

1. Get clean
2. Get closer to the Lord
3. Get closer to Heather

I know now that I cannot do this without the Lord’s help.  I cannot withstand the temptations that the devil has been throwing at me on my own.  I have seen the devil’s increased efforts to hinder my progress, his temptations are everywhere.  The Lord was right when he told Heather that I needed to come here to the Shrock home.  This is a house of the Lord and I am safer from the temptations of the devil here.  This is a place where I can come back to the Lord, where I can detoxify my system of all the poisons that I have been filling my body with over the past 10 or more years.

I have faith in the Lord, faith in Jesus Christ.  I have faith in me.  I am blessed, and remembered in so many prayers.  I will be ok!

Obviously she knows nothing about me.

Obviously she knows nothing about me.

That’s too bad, she might have liked what she would have found out.

Two more…

This hobby of mine, working with Adobe Premiere, Adobe Photoshop, and Wondertouch Particle Illusion, is still alive and kicking…  and maybe I just might be getting a bit better…

Here is my latest video.

Here is the one before that.

Here are all the movies I have posted on youtube.

Please leave me some feedback… 

Still alive and kickin’…

Life, as life has been, has not been much to write about lately.  Here is my latest video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iz6CIyq4C04

More snow…

The snow has kept coming down over the past week or so… and it is supposed to continue, ‘they’ say.  Accumulation here in Spokane has to be near two feet.  When I am driving, it seems that everywhere I go I am in a maze because my car is so low that I can’t see over the piles of plowed snow on each side of the road.  Although my tires are not the greatest anymore and I really could use new ones my car, for the most part, has been very reliable this winter.

Well, I really should get back to studying…

The path seems lonely…

I really can’t understand why I am unable to forget about her…  First off, I don’t want to say all that I have to say and have the end result be that ‘I am in love’, although that may be the case.  Honestly I have never felt like this before, I have never before had someone invade my every day thoughts for so long after coming to the realization that it was over.  I have met many other fun and exciting women over the last year, yet my mind still brings up images and memories of her.  Why?  I am quite aware that she has moved on with her life, and has no thought whatsoever of me and the times that we spent together.  In time I was suppose to forget about her too.  I was supposed to be able to move forward without her, continuing along the path I chose before we had met.  That path now seems lonely and I feel so empty.   

Heavy snowfall and terrible roads…

Today is Wednesday, but it will be the first day of school this week.  SFCC classes had been canceled on Monday and Tuesday because of the heavy snowfall over the last week here in NE Washington.  I am not sure how much snow we have had, but I would say at least a foot and a half.  Because of this the roads are terrible…  I am not quite sure if my car will make it to school today.  I have had it parked for the past three days, but I will need to get to school…

I could not disagree…

Nearly a year has passed now since we made the mutual decision to call it quits…

Yes, we decided to ‘just be friends’ and although ultimately I could not disagree with her, my heart refused to agree.  I clung to the belief that we both had so much in common and that we belonged together.

Yet it was all fantasy – not true – all in my mind.  Sure we shared good times together, some of which I will never be able to forget.  But the bad times we put each other through easily outnumbered the good times we occasionally allowed ourselves to enjoy.

Had I been more observant, I would have seen that although she brought out the very best in me, although I became the man I wish I still were today, I was never who she wanted or needed me to be.  In her eyes I was never good enough, and surely never will be.

ILC, food bank and finding the right song…

Well it’s now Thursday…  this week is flying by.  I am working in the ILC (International Learning Center) right now.  The class that I am supporting is a Japanese class, and it is packed.  I am glad that there are Japanese instructors here to help the students with their homework, because I am a bit rusty at reading Japanese.

I am thinking about going to the school food bank next hour, before my last class starts.  I am able to receive 13.5 lbs. three times a quarter, and I have not yet gone this quarter.  I will have an hour to kill, and I am in need of food at the house.

I have started three different movies over the past week or so, and each of them evolved, becoming something that I didn’t like or intend…  I have lots of great ideas, and my creative side is really taking off, but it just doesn’t come together…  I thought it might have been the choice of music, and this just might be the reason…  I am going to keep looking for the right song, and I hope to have something started that will be worth posting in a few days.